Around $30/month for a standard 3-month membership, eHarmony isn’t exactly cheap. And that means the women who are willing to invest in one are serious about finding a relationship, and likely looking for potential husband material.
If you want to be a contender with your most attractive matches, your eHarmony profile needs to stand up to some major scrutiny. These 3 expert eHarmony profile tips will help make sure you’re someone she can’t wait to meet!
#1: Be Strategic With Your Profile Answers
Unlike most other dating sites, eHarmony doesn't have a main section where you’re asked to write an essay about yourself. Instead, your profile is broken up into a series of questions, which makes the writing process more directed and simple.
The mistake most men make is answering these questions in a BORING and unattractive way, or revealing red flags about themselves that send women running.
You don’t have to provide answers for every section, but the ones you don’t answer simply won’t appear when she’s browsing your profile.
That means if you only answer one or two, she’s not looking at much. And if you don’t answer any, she’s looking at a blank white screen.
Let’s go through the most strategic eHarmony profile questions to answer, and the best way to fill them out:
What are you most passionate about?
Remember this is about passion, an emotive word. You have to show her that this is something you really care about. Keep in mind your passion is often not as important as how you describe it.
If it has to do with food, describe the flavors. The same goes for wine. If it’s your job, make sure the person can FEEL your passion and ideally even get excited about it too.
If you do charity work, this is a great place to mention it.
Here's a good example:
See how much more interesting and genuine that sounds, compared to writing something generic like this:
Details spark emotional connections – cliches generally don’t.
I typically spend my leisure time…
The key to success here is thinking about what makes you intriguing, exciting, and captivating. Accomplish this by telling a story rather than just listing activities. Use this real estate wisely by communicating an irresistible day that she can't wait to share with you:
Notice how there are plenty of specifics here, too.
Describing your signature dish is much more compelling than “I like to cook,” and mentioning scuba diving and hiking sets you apart from everyone else who just wrote “I like spending time outdoors.”
Specific details help her imagine what spending a day with you could be like. Just make sure your answer takes her to a happy place…
Try not to repeat anything that you previously mentioned. Repetition = boring, and boring is the kiss of death on dating sites:
The most important thing I am looking for in a person is…
Women find profiles that mention what type of partner a man is looking for more attractive than profiles that simply describe him. The exact ratio should be 70% you/30% her, if you want to get scientific about it.
The take home message? Don’t skip this section.
Be sure not to mention anything physical in here, and remember that you don’t have to be too specific. Just because it asks for only one quality doesn't mean you can't slip more in. For example, you could write:
The most influential person in my life…
In this section, talk about other family members who you look up to, sports coaches, teachers, mentors, or even a great boss or friend.
Make it a person you've had a REAL connection with. Talking about your celebrity crush on Demi Lovato and how her music shaped your life is obviously going to come off as pretty lame.
Use this section as an opportunity to show where your caring nature, professional ambition, or active lifestyle comes from. You can hint at how your level of success in life wouldn't have been achieved without this person (thus pointing to your economic stability and wealth indirectly).
The main idea is to describe how this person helped you out of a tough time in your life, or how this person's example got you to where you are today. The focus should be on transition; remember to end on a positive note. Something like:
The first thing people notice about me…
Keep this light and fun. If you have a foreign accent, mention your “subtle trance-inducing accent”… If it’s a NY accent and you live in the south, mention that in a positive and humorous way. If you’re bald, you can make a joke about how your hair rivals John Snow’s (which of course they will know is a joke when they see your photos).
But whatever you do, don’t write something like this:
It’s far better to just leave a section blank than writing something lame like that.
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me…
This can't be something physical, otherwise why wouldn't people have noticed? It's best if you mention a skill or trait that's not immediately obvious. For example:
Be careful here not to inadvertently reveal an UNATTRACTIVE quality.
Do not say something like “That I’m shy at first, but once you get to know me, I’m hilarious.”
Remember that a shy guy is not the kind of guy who’s getting a lot of dates. Talking about manly characteristics that are hidden beneath a meek exterior is definitely something you want to avoid.
Five things that you “can't live without”…
Feel free to confess your dependence on worldly goods; we all like our creature comforts. But do not say, “iPhone, Air, Water, Food, Beer.” If you talk about worldly things, make them unique.
So many guys write something lame like their iPhone, air, water, internet, blah, blah… So it does nothing to set you apart and nothing to tell a woman how interesting you are.
Work in some human elements as well such as things related to family (mom's lasagna), friends (Thursday pickup basketball with the guys), pets (Sunday afternoon runs in the park with your dog Max) or your hobbies (my favorite pair of running shoes, my camera, my surfboard).
Do try and add some adventure, but as long as it’s not too generic or obscure, anything goes here.
A little more about me…
If you don’t have anything to add, just say something like: “There's a ton more to know, but I'd prefer to save some of the mystery for when we get together…”
You might also want to put a call to action here, as it’s the most natural place to tell her what to do next:
#2: Make Sure All Your eHarmony Profile Sections Do Double Duty
Remember, women on eHarmony are paying for the privilege to check out your photos and exchange messages – and they want to spend that money wisely.
She’s not going to return a message from just anyone, she’s going to respond to her hottest prospects.
The best way to rocket straight to the top of her “must meet” list is by making sure all your profile sections illustrate why you’re a great guy to date – and that’s why you need to choose what you write about carefully, and understand what those things communicate between the lines.
Here are few examples:
- Pet ownership. If you have a dog, mention it. Not only has research found that owning a dog makes you a more attractive prospect, it also shows you’re capable of making a long-term commitment.
- DIY projects. Whether you mention that you’re remodeling your kitchen or putting in a new deck, the ability to fix things around the house will score you some points.
- Family time. As mentioned above, the key here is giving specific examples. But letting her know you spend time with your family means you’re a caring, loving person with strong relationships – and that’s attractive.
- Travel. Not only does this hint that she’s in for some exciting adventures, it also subtly lets her know that you’ve got the financial means to fund the trip.
- Active hobbies. It could be skiing, surfing, or running – anything that gets you up and moving implies you care about your health and fitness.
|Pro Tip: As a final touch, make sure you re-read your profile with a fine-toothed comb looking for misspellings, typos and grammar errors. This goes for any dating site, but especially with eHarmony since it tends to attract a more serious and intellectual crowd.
Don’t underestimate the effect of bad grammar – it ranked above bad sex as an attraction killer.
#3: Make Your Primary Photo Click Worthy
When she’s checking out her daily eHarmony matches, her screen looks something like this:
There's not much info visible, just your name, age, location – and most prominent of all, your photo. Your photo is what will catch her eye, and likely what will determine if she even bothers to read your profile (or return your message).
A group of neuroscientists recently helped out singles everywhere by identifying all the traits attractive Tinder photos have in common – and what makes women “like” a photo on a dating app photo translates just as well to eHarmony.
Here are the 4 elements your primary eHarmony should have:
For expert advice on how to choose the rest of your photo lineup, check out this article.
Bonus Tip: Consider Switching To Match.com
eHarmony’s biggest disadvantage is simple – you’re completely dependent on the site’s unproven algorithm.
Forget scrolling through the *all* the singles in your area – you’re limited to only viewing profiles of the women the site deems compatible.
Here’s the issue: Independent studies have shown dating algorithms aren’t reliable when it comes to predicting long-term compatibility. Ironic considering most of eHarmony’s users are seeking exactly that.
Match.com has quite a few advantages over eHarmony, including the ability to browse the entire database using the search criteria that are most important to you.
To see a head-to-head comparison of eHarmony vs Match, go here.
The Easiest Way To Have The Best Profile On eHarmony
Bring in VIDA’s professional writing team! We’ve been custom writing irresistible profiles for single guys like you since 2009. But that’s not all our dating experts can do for you…
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There’s simply no easier way to meet the woman of your dreams – click here to find out how!