header-media-logos

I want to learn about

How To Start A Text Conversation With A Girl

The hard part is over – you got her phone number. Now what? Don’t waste those digits – here’s everything you need to know to start a text conversation, keep it going, and lock in the date.

start a text conversation with a girl

If you’re like most guys, you’re getting the majority of your digits and dates from apps and sites like Tinder, Bumble, OkCupid and Match.com. That’s also where our expertise lies, so this article will be approached from that angle. With that said, these 8 basic rules still apply even if you met her in a bar, so by all means, read on…

Rule #1: Don't Wait Too Long

Timing is crucial – if you met the woman online, you should the send first text within 24 hours of getting her number (48 hours max). You don’t want to look desperate or needy by texting within minutes of her sending her number, but you also need to strike while the iron is hot.

Maintaining momentum is crucial in the dating game, and if she’s messaging several other promising dating prospects, you don’t want her forgetting about you.

Rule #2: Introduce Yourself

Sounds basic, right? But many guys forget this essential step.

Remember – she has no clue who you are when your text pops up on her phone, unless she immediately added you to her contacts when you swapped numbers. (Spoiler alert – she’s probably not going to do that.)

confusing text message

So you need to identify yourself, but you don’t have to be boring about it. If you already planned a date with her via the site or app, send her a playful text to confirm it.

Something like this:

First Text Message Examples

If you don’t have a date lined up yet, you can use your first text message to keep the online conversation you had going. So if you were having a lively debate about the best Beatles’ song ever on the dating app just before you snagged her number, keep things flowing with a text message like this:

Example of a first text message

Rule #3: Keep Your Messaging Style Congruent

She’s already formed a pretty solid impression of you after exchanging online messages. You want to keep your texts consistent with your messaging style, just shorter in length (obviously).

If the two styles aren’t congruent, she’s going to feel like something’s not quite right, and she’ll be hesitant to meet you in person.

texting mistake guys make

So don’t go from “Won my soccer game today, grabbed burgers and a beer with the guys to celebrate. How was your weekend?” in one of your most recent dating app messages to “Hey baby, wazzup?” in your first text.

Rule #4: Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are usually better than yes-or-no questions, because her answers give you something to work with and it’s easier to keep the conversation moving toward setting a date.

Even something simple like this should give you plenty to build on:

Good Text Message Example

Although you want to draw her out, if your question requires too much work on her part, she’ll most likely skip it. Keep your questions fun and simple.

Rule #5: Make Sure The Info Flows Both Ways

If you’re peppering her with questions and offering nothing in return, it might start to feel like an interrogation. Keep the conversation moving towards the date, but make sure you’re sharing little tidbits about yourself as you go.

If conversation is starting to die down and you’re not sure what to say next, just go for the “W” and ask her out. It’s better to go for it before she starts to get bored with waiting for you to pull the trigger.

Rule #6: Don’t Commit One Of These Texting Sins

    • Being overly complimentary about her appearance – or her anything, really. “You’re pretty” or “I like your smile” isn’t going to impress her. She’s heard it before, and she’ll be more impressed by engaging messages than random flattery.can't believe he texted that
    • Getting creepy or sexual. Very, very few guys can successfully pull off sexting. It requires boss level skills, and unless you know you’ve got them, don’t try.
    • Thinking emojis are just for teenage girls. Emojis are a visual replacement for body language, tone of voice, etc… all those cues you miss out on when you’re not face to face. They’re essential for keeping texts playful and light hearted.

Rule #7: Be Persistent

If she stops responding, don’t give up. Follow up the next day with a fresh topic or playful text, and see if you can spark things again. Something like:

Good Text message

But if you’ve messaged twice with no response, cut her loose. If she gets back to you later, great. But you’re not improving your odds by going all Bates Motel and sending six follow-ups.

Rule #8: Don't Wait Too Long To Suggest A Date

Odds are, she wants you to ask, and if she doesn’t – well, better to know that early on, right? And unless your texts are all worthy of Pulitzers, she’ll lose interest after a week of texting with someone who is basically still a stranger. So after two or three exchanges, go for it.

he asked me out

We have tons of great tips about asking a girl out online that apply just as well here, but here’s an example to get you thinking in the right direction:

Text Message Asking For Date

Here’s another example that could work for you, which requires that you send three messages in rapid succession:

Text sequence asking for date

Once you’ve set the date, don’t go silent for any extended period of time. You want the conversation to continue up to the meeting. Of course, it’s not high school and you don’t need to fall asleep texting sweet nothings to each other. But if you’ve set a date for a week from now, a message every two or max three days keeps things relaxed and open.

And to make sure you knock it out of the park on your first date, check out this article for some epic conversation starters!

About VIDA

VIDA Select is the answer to all your online dating frustrations. We set you up with your own team of expert matchmakers who will introduce you to highly compatible local singles. We craft your dating profile, send engaging messages on your behalf, and even book dates for you. Thousands of singles have turned to VIDA Select to make lasting connections, and we're ready to make you our next success story. To find out if you qualify to receive our signature service, take 90 seconds to answer a few questions, and a dating specialist will be in contact with you soon.

About VIDA

VIDA Select is the answer to all your online dating frustrations. We set you up with your own team of expert matchmakers who will introduce you to highly compatible local singles. We craft your dating profile, send engaging messages on your behalf, and even book dates for you. Thousands of singles have turned to VIDA Select to make lasting connections, and we're ready to make you our next success story. To find out if you qualify to receive our signature service, take 90 seconds to answer a few questions, and a dating specialist will be in contact with you soon.

We Do Your Dating For You

Steal Our 8 Best-Performing Profiles.

Copy & Paste Our Best Profile Examples To Get More Quality Matches, More Responses, And More Dates!

Do You Want To Meet Higher Quality Matches?

Let VIDA Select do your online dating for you!

Do You Want To Meet Higher Quality Matches?

Let VIDA Select do your online dating for you!

Yours FREE: Use These 21 Proven Profile Headlines To Get More Dates

Sparking Interest Online Is Now As Easy As Copy And Paste With This Free Guide...

Use These 5 Sure-Fire Conversation Starters

Copy & Paste Your Way To Guaranteed Responses From Attractive Women Using Our 5 Favorite Opening Messages...

Copy & Paste Our Best Profile Examples To Get More Views, More Responses, And More Dates!

Steal Our 8 Best-Performing Profiles When You Download This FREE Guide...

Now You Can Copy & Paste Your Way To Responses On Tinder

Use Our 14 Best-Performing Tinder Messages Now...

Download Your

Free

Guide

Appear Twice As Attractive Online With These Secret Photo Techniques...

Do You Qualify?

I am a...

Step 1 of 11
Step 1 of 11

WOULD YOU LIKE

MORE WOMEN MESSAGING YOU BACK

?

Give me your 5 best-performing messages so I can get more women responding and get more dates!

I think I can eventually figure out the best messages to send women.

From Women!

COPY & PASTE THESE MESSAGES TO

Get More Responses

Use Our 5 Highest Performing Icebreaker Messages & Fill Your Inbox With Responses From Women Eager To Meet Up With You...


Just sign up below and we’ll send you the report right away:

Schedule A Quick Call

To Simply Get Started, Enter Your BEST Email Address Into The Form Below, Then You Will Be Taken To The Book Page To Choose The Times That Work Best For You...

More Responses. Better Dates.

Discover The Perfect Dating App For You...