Proven Tinder Conversation Starters [Get More Responses!]

Looking for Tinder conversation starters because you're tired of blowing it with your hottest matches? Tired of staring at that blank screen, with no idea what to write? Or maybe you don't know what to say to a Tinder match with no bio.

You're in the right place. Instead of striking out with lame messages like “hey there”, try sending one of these 14 icebreakers that actually work!

Ready to start getting more Tinder dates? Let’s start with the icebreakers...

Animate Your First Tinder Message

💡 Key Insights:

• GIFs boost response rates by 30% and lead to longer conversations
• Humor triggers biological attraction - women are hardwired to find funny men appealing
• Pair a relevant GIF with a thoughtful question to make responding easy and enjoyable

Making her feel something with your opener is the key to getting a conversation started on Tinder - and GIFs are a great way to accomplish that.

Message Example #1:

A positive emotional response creates an instant bond, so she’s more likely to invest time in replying to you.

How do we know? Extensive testing!

Since Tinder's inception in 2012, VIDA Select's team of dating experts has spent hundreds of thousands of hours on the app, meticulously analyzing the effectiveness of various opening lines. We've identified what strategies lead to meaningful exchanges and which ones fall flat, all thanks to our hands-on experience and extensive data analysis.

Let's get to the second example...

Message Example #2:

Then, once you’ve evoked this emotion, make it easy for her to write back by posing a fun or interesting question at the end of your message.

Message Example #3:

Not only do GIFs stand out in her message queue, they boost your response rate as well. 

Data analysis by Tinder revealed that GIFs are 30% more likely to get a response, and the conversations last twice as long.

The right GIFs can also make funny Tinder conversation starters.

Numerous studies have shown women are naturally attracted to funny men. Finding a sense of humor sexy is literally hardwired into her brain.

Why not use mother nature to your advantage when it comes to scoring hot Tinder dates?

For example, pair a gif like this:

With an opener like...

Message Example #4:

Or a cute gif like this:

With an icebreaker like...

Message Example #5:

Of course, you can also be funny without using GIFs, but make sure your humor is on point.

Think classy, not locker room.

That’s a good rule to follow in general for messaging on dating apps, not just Tinder.

Kick Start A Craving

💡 Key Insights:

• Food-related messages can increase response rates by 40%
• Mentioning specific foods creates instant cravings and positive associations
• Questions about favorite restaurants or meals spark engaging conversation

When it comes to boosting your response rate, mentioning food is a pro move.

Message Example #6:

According to Hinge, women are 40% more likely to respond to messages that get them craving something delicious, and that makes food a great Tinder conversation topic.

Message Example #7:

Engage Her Imagination

💡 Key Insights:

• Travel topics tap into aspirational thinking and create positive emotions
• Questions about dream destinations help you discover shared interests
• Travel-related openers work across different personality types and preferences

Travel also makes a compelling and engaging Tinder conversation starter.

Message Example #8:

Virtually all women love visiting new places and seeing the sights, or at least thinking about going somewhere amazing.

Message Example #9:

Who doesn’t have a travel bucket list?

Get Personal(ized) In Your Tinder Opener

💡 Key Insights:

• Referencing details from her profile shows genuine interest and attention
• When she talks about herself, brain scans show it activates pleasure centers
• Personalized questions make your message stand out from generic openers

Travel isn’t the only way to stimulate her mind’s “happy place.”

When you’re wondering what to say to a Tinder match, give her profile a quick skim and see if anything jumps out at you from her photos or her bio.

You could start a great conversation by asking her about...

A shared interest in a hobby or activity, like in this example...

Message Example #10:

Or if you both love animals, ask about her pets, like this...

Message Example #11:

If her profile doesn't give you much to go on but her name is unusual sounding, go with an icebreaker like...

Message Example #12:

When you give her the opportunity to talk about herself, it stimulates pleasure centers in her brain.

That's according to a team of Harvard researchers, who used an fMRI to determine whether talking about oneself lights up areas of the brain that process feelings of motivation and reward. Turns out, it does.

That means responding to your first message literally makes her feel good.

Invite her to share something about herself, like in this Tinder starter:

Message Example #13:

The better she feels while messaging with you, the more comfortable she’ll be giving you her phone number.

Sending a good conversation starter like this one will have her responding in no time...

Message Example #14:

Age Isn’t Just A Number

💡 Key Insights:

• Match your message style to her age range for better results
• Women in their early 20s often respond best to novel/unusual messages
• Women in their 30s prefer conversation starters about lifestyle and activities
• Track your response rates to identify which openers work best for you

Magical Tinder conversation starters don't exist. There is no first message every woman is guaranteed to respond to.

For one thing, age is a factor when it comes to predicting what type of message will work best for specific Tinder users.

A message that makes casual-minded cuties in their early 20s laugh and respond probably isn’t going to work that well with relationship-minded women in their mid 30s. These are very different audiences.

The data crunchers over at Hinge found that women of different ages respond better to messages in certain categories:

Keeping these categories in mind could pay off in higher response rates overall on any dating apps you use.

In fact, if you truly want to maximize your results, keep track of every opening line you send and every response it gets.

That way you can see what works for you and what doesn’t.

Yes, it’s a bit tedious, but the data you’ll get in return is totally worth it. This handy response rate calculator makes it as easy as it can possibly be…

3 Tinder Tips That Will Boost Your Response Rate

To boost your response rate for each message, do these 3 simple things:

#1: Use her first name.

As Dale Carnegie noted in his famous book, “A person’s name is the sweetest sound in any language for that person.”

It works on Tinder too.

Including her name in your message creates an instant emotional bond - and when you get her feeling all warm and fuzzy she’s more likely to respond.

#2: Pay attention to spell check.

Messages with spelling, punctuation, and grammar errors are a dealbreaker for many women, so proofread your conversation starter before sending it. This goes for all dating apps!

#3: Send your Tinder conversation starter in the evening.

According to the data crunchers over at Nielson, the most people hop on the app between 5 pm and midnight.

As you can see from their graph below, the best time to send your Tinder conversation starters is around 9 pm.

Should You Double Text?

Your data will let you know which messages perform best in general, and those are the keepers. Keep in mind, even really good Tinder conversation starters don’t work 100% of the time.

Don’t throw in the towel if she doesn’t respond to your first message. There could be thousands of reasons, and not all of them have to do with you. Maybe her meeting started, or she’s catching up on Outlander.

Whatever the reason, give her a second chance by sending a follow up message that relates back to your conversation starter, like this...

Tinder Follow Up Message #1:

That second message can boost your odds of getting a response – especially if you send it around four hours later. That's the golden window, according to Hinge's internal data:

But keep things fun and lighthearted. The last thing you want to do on a dating app is sound desperate for a response. That’s not hot.

You can also use a “stock” message to respark a Tinder conversation, like this...

Tinder Follow Up Message #2:

A message like that works no matter what your first one said, which means you can quickly send it to any woman in your queue who hasn’t responded yet.

If she doesn’t respond to your second message, cut bait and move on. The more unanswered messages you send the stronger that whiff of desperation starts to smell.

There's no shortage of hotties on Tinder, so shift your efforts elsewhere and try starting a conversation with another match.

Keep The Convo Rollin’

💡 Key Insights:

• Always include a question in your response to maintain conversation momentum
• Move conversations off Tinder within 10-15 messages to avoid losing her interest
• Look for engagement signals (quick replies, questions, enthusiasm) before asking for her number
• Frame date suggestions positively to increase chances of a "yes"

On Tinder, keeping the momentum going is crucial. Dating app conversations have a short shelf life, so you want to move things off the app as quickly as possible by getting her number or scheduling a date.

When she responds to your opener, you need to move the conversation forward before she loses interest and moves on, or her Tinder profile disappears.

The easiest way to keep the momentum going in your Tinder convo is asking her a question each time you send a message.

Generally, answering a question is easier than thinking of something new to say.

Think of it as saving her from that awkward silence at a cocktail party when the conversation stalls. When you take the reins, it’s easy for her to follow your conversational lead.

Don’t be afraid to get creative - it is Tinder, after all.

As you get more messaging practice, you’ll develop a good feel for what works and what doesn’t. Keep track of the lines that work best for you, and use them again and again.

Get started with these great questions to ask a girl you like!

If you send a message that falls flat, you can still save the entire Tinder conversation.

For instance, if she replies:

“I have no idea how to respond to that”

Simply write something like:

“That’s okay, you don’t need to say anything. Just tell me more about your tastes... Night out on the town or Netflix? Chocolate cheesecake or warm apple pie? Hiking in the mountains or body surfing at the beach?”

On a dating app like Tinder, you may have to exchange 10+ messages before the time feels right to ask her out.

Here are 4 clues you should ask her out on Tinder:

When you feel the time is right, you have 2 options for taking things off the app:

1. Asking for her phone number (or her Instagram, WhatsApp, Facebook, etc.)
2. Suggesting a meet up

No matter which goal you have in mind, start by making a statement you know she’ll agree with.

That puts her in the “yes” frame of mind.

For instance, say “You seem cool, but I’ve found it’s hard to predict chemistry until you’re face to face with someone. Let’s meet up for coffee or drinks?”

Once she agrees, you can write “Great, what’s your number? I’ll text you to figure out the details...”

Want more tips on moving things off the app? Learn more about how to ask a girl out online!

Your Secret Weapon for Tinder Success

These conversation starters are great, but what happens after she responds? Most conversations die within the first 5 messages because guys run out of things to say.

Getting matches is one thing. Converting them to actual dates is where most men struggle.

Imagine having a dating expert who's analyzed 30,000+ successful interactions right in your pocket, available 24/7.

That's Ari—your AI dating coach built on real matchmaking expertise. She doesn't just give you generic advice; she creates personalized messages that work for your specific matches:

With Ari by your side, you'll:

• Know exactly what to say from first message to first date
• Recover smoothly from conversation lulls or awkward moments
• Craft messages that showcase your authentic personality
• Learn what works specifically for the type of women you're interested in
• Convert more matches into actual dates in half the time

For example, when Ryan’s conversation stalled after a few messages, Ari suggested the perfect follow-up that led to a coffee date the very next day.

Join thousands of guys who are already dating smarter, not harder. Your best dating life is just one download away.

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