Select Date Society Review [Best Virginia Matchmaker?]

Co-founders Amber Lee and Sandra Myers both have over 20+ years of matchmaking experience. The duo originally met while both working at the same nationally franchised dating service back in 2009. 

They both went on to work for several other large matchmaking companies, including LUMA Luxury Matchmaking, before embarking on their own venture in 2020.

One of the catalysts for starting a business despite the ongoing pandemic at the time was a life-changing medical event for Lee. 

As she explained in an interview with Valiant,

 “I suffered a sudden cardiac arrest. Thankfully, my heart was restarted with a defibrillator. Realizing that life is short, Sandra & I took action!” 

The company’s tagline, ‘Successful, Selective, Professional Singles,’ aptly explains their target clientele. They claim to have celebrities, executives, Grammy Award winners and pro athletes on their client roster, and work with successful singles in their 20s to 70s. 

As Myers explained in an interview with Dating Advice, “We started SDS with the idea that we want to be the Ritz Carlton of matchmaking. We want the client to feel like family – like we’re taking care of them like they’re our best friends.”

Select Date Society is headquartered at 919 E. Main Street, Suite 1000 in Richmond, VA. But they work with clients nationwide, having a presence in 31 major cities across the US including New York, Boston, Atlanta, Miami, Austin, Minneapolis, Seattle, Scottsdale, Los Angeles and San Francisco.

As Lee shares in a chat with Ladders, Select Date Society isn’t the right fit for all singles. 

“I’m very selective about who I choose to work with, so I don’t take everyone as a client. I only work with high-caliber singles who are serious about finding “the one.”

For potential clients, the process begins by filling out a short inquiry from on the SDS website.

You’ll provide basic information about yourself, including occupation, income, and upload a photo. 

Next, you’ll be contacted by a member of the matchmaking team for a preliminary conversation. They’ll learn a little about you and your expectations, and determine if you’re a good fit for the service and vice versa. 

According to Myers, on average, they only accept 1 out of every 10 potential clients as members.  

During the onboarding process, you can expect to chat with the team about your relationship history, specifically what’s worked and what hasn’t. 

The team will also take a deep dive into your family dynamics, going over your background, lifestyle, your parents’ relationship with each other, and more. This is all to reveal any issues or negative patterns that are undermining your dating life.

You’ll take an Enneagram personality assessment, which will help the SDS team understand your personality and approach to dating better.

During these consultations, you’ll also provide your ideal match criteria, and help the matchmakers devise screening questions for potential matches.

SDS clients are matched with other clients, members of the database, or, depending on your package level, matches scouted via Lee & Myers network of contacts.

First dates are arranged by a “Date Concierge,” with all the details handled for you. After your first introduction, you’ll have an “Insight Session.”

This is basically a post-date assessment when you can share how you thought things went, what you thought of the quality of the match, etc. But you’ll also get a chance to hear what your date shared with the matchmaker about you. 

For higher level package members, there will be an Insight Session after each date. If you purchased a basic membership, you’ll only get one of these consultations.

Matchmaking services start at $100,000. At this level, you’ll work with the matchmaking team, rather than Lee and Myers.

The team will screen candidates and arrange an introduction with the matches they approve. If you want a hand in that decision, you’ll need to purchase the Platinum Level membership.

Prices vary depending on factors such as your search radius, search criteria, etc.

With the Platinum Level package, you get “one-on-one” support from a professional matchmaker, a “private search” by SDS recruiters, and the ability to discuss and approve your matches prior to the first date. You’ll also have an Insight Session after each one.

For the highest level of service, there is the Founders Club level. This package costs $1,000,000 and the founders will personally work with one client at a time. 

Select Date Society Cost Comparison

Report Methodology: The Weighted Review Score combines ratings from Trustpilot, Yelp, and Google, weighted by the number of reviews on each platform. To ensure reliability, services with fewer than 10 total reviews receive a confidence adjustment: 10+ reviews (full weight), 5-9 reviews (90% weight), 2-4 reviews (80% weight), and single reviews (70% weight). For instance, if a service only has a single 5-star review, their weighted score would be 3.5 stars. This prevents services from ranking artificially high based on limited feedback and provides a more accurate comparison based on client experiences. Last Updated: 7/30/2026

Curious how SDS cost compares to other exclusive matchmakers? Let's take a quick look!

Much like Select Date Society, Enamour is an elite service with an international reach that is also extremely selective both about the clients they work with and the singles they accept into their database. In fact, that database is invite only.

Enamour's matchmaking team also uses recruiting technology and an extensive network of scouts, allowing them to hand-select exceptional singles for their clients to meet.

Enamour's packages start around $20,000 for a 6-month search.

VIDA Select offers elite matchmaking services to single professionals across the US. Some packages are offered on a month-to-month basis, starting at $1,595. There is also a "90-Day Match Guarantee" package, which includes at least 5 highly curated matches you approve for $5,750. Guaranteed results, or the search continues at no additional cost.

With an 82% success rate, clients typically meet someone special within 3 months of beginning service.

Selective Search, a Chicago-based matchmaking service founded by former executive recruiter Barbie Adler, works with elite singles across the US. Her search process centers around each client's "benchmarks", which are identified during an extensive onboarding process.

Adler's matchmaking packages start at $25,000, but that's for an "introductory" package. Clients typically spend between $75,000 and $250,000+ for her services.

Agape Match is a boutique service based in New York City. Founded by matchmaker Maria Avgitidis, packages start at $30,000 for 6 months of service. Paying clients are typically men, who are paired with a minimum of 6 women from Avgitidis's database.

Want a deeper dive into how much you can expect to spend on an exclusive matchmaking service? Check out this handy cost comparison!

You’ll find Select Date Society has several reviews on Yelp, where they have a 4 ½ out of 5 star rating. The 6 recommended reviews were almost all positive.  

Several reviewers, like these two, commended the quality of service they received from the founders and other matchmakers on staff. 

The sole negative review was from someone who hadn’t signed up as a client because she found the service too expensive. 

The 25 “not currently recommended reviews” were all positive, except for one that was from someone who had never actually used the service.

Google reviews were likewise mostly positive, resulting in a 4.9 out 5 star rating.

Reviewers like this one reported a good experience with the matchmaking team:

Others were confident they would meet someone special through the service:

The sole negative reviewer wasn’t happy with the singles he met through the service:

When it comes to evaluating a matchmaking service you’re thinking about hiring, online reviews can give you an insightful peek into common complaints, how the company approaches customer service, etc. 

But as you likely know, internet reviews also need to be taken with a dash of salt. What’s more important is considering how you feel about the aspects of a service that are most important to you.

For instance, when it comes to Select Date Society, maybe it’s a combination of budget and how much control you have over the matches you meet.

Discussing and approving your matches before meeting them face to face requires upgrading to the Platinum Level membership. And the ability to change your matching criteria throughout the process requires purchasing the premier level. 

If that’s in the budget and it’s an approach you’re comfortable with, Select Date Society may just be the right choice for you.

But if that gives you pause, you may want to consider other elite matchmaking services as well - ones who offer you a little more control over your first dates.

With VIDA Select’s modern matchmaking service, you work hand in hand with a dedicated matchmaker but you’re always in total control of your search. 

Not only can you adjust your search criteria as needed, you also have the freedom to approve or pass on every potential match. No more awkward first dates with singles you’re not interested in getting to know!

With access to the single largest database of eligible singles there is, it’s no wonder VIDA’s matchmakers help 3 out of 4 clients begin a serious relationship within just 3 ½ months of service.

That’s one of the reasons VIDA doesn’t require a long-term contract, where you’re investing in 6, 9 or 12 months of service at once. Instead, VIDA offers monthly packages on a pay-as-you-go basis - and at a fraction of the cost other exclusive matchmakers charge.

Want to learn more about VIDA’s modern matchmaking service? Start by seeing if you qualify!