What should I say in a first message on a dating app?

Your first message should spark curiosity, differentiate you from competition, and include an easy-to-answer question. Avoid generic greetings like "hey" or "what's up." Instead, use humor, reference shared interests, mention food (women are 40% more likely to respond), or ask creative questions that make responding fun rather than work.

What is the best time to send a first message on dating apps?

Send first messages between 8-10pm on weekdays when dating app activity peaks at 9pm, according to Nielsen data. On Bumble specifically, the app is busiest in the early evening during the week and late afternoon on weekends. Bad weather days see a 47% increase in activity on Hinge and 20-40% on Bumble.

Do copy and paste messages work on dating apps?

Yes, copy and paste messages are highly effective and save significant time. OkCupid's Christian Rudder confirmed that template messages work better as a long-term strategy. Since men need to send an average of 114 messages for a 99% chance of one reply, using proven templates is smarter than customizing each message from scratch.

How long should my first message be on a dating app?

Keep first messages short and sweet on dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, typically just a few sentences with one clear question. On dating sites like Match, OkCupid, or POF, slightly longer messages are acceptable. Always include proper punctuation and check for grammar mistakes, as 71% of online daters are turned off by poor grammar.

Should I compliment a woman's appearance in my first message?

No, avoid complimenting physical appearance in first messages. Women receive countless "you're hot" messages daily. Instead, compliment intangible qualities like intelligence, accomplishments, or interesting aspects of her profile. Personality-based compliments are refreshing and set you apart from competition.

What should I do if she doesn't respond to my first message?

Send one light-hearted follow-up message and then move on. There are many reasons she might not have responded that have nothing to do with your message—she may have been busy and forgot to reply later. One playful second attempt is acceptable, but multiple messages appear desperate and reduce your chances further.

Why do 57% of Tinder conversations never progress past the first message?

Most conversations fail because first messages are boring, generic, or put the burden of continuing the conversation on the woman. Messages like "hey" or "what's up" don't spark emotion or give clear direction. Effective messages ask interesting questions, show personality, and make responding easy and fun.

What types of messages get the highest response rates?

Food-related messages get 40% higher response rates on dating apps like Hinge. Other high-performing messages include those with GIFs (30% boost on Tinder), humor-based openers, questions about shared interests or hobbies, travel topics, and creative questions that spark curiosity and require more than a yes/no answer.