But using a lame opener like “Hey” isn’t working, and you don’t have time to spend 15-20 minutes writing one custom message, painstakingly crafted to include specific details mined from her profile for each and every woman who catches your eye.
You need a new online dating strategy – and you’re about to learn why using cut & paste dating messages can be a game changer.
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When you know how to use them correctly, you’ll be amazed at the results. You’ll even get 7 examples of messages that are proven to work that you can try out right now.
Still skeptical? Keep reading to find out why you shouldn’t be. And if you want to skip straight to the message examples, click here.
Proof That Cut & Paste Dating Messages Really Work
In his book, ‘Dataclysm: Who We Are When We Think No One’s Looking’, OkCupid’s head honcho Christian Rudder weighs in on whether a canned message actually works, or if women see through that BS in an instant.
In a nutshell, he said the copy/paste strategy is 25% less effective in terms of response rate, but in the long run it always wins when you compare the effort you put in to the results you get back.
To look at it a different way, using a template message is 75 percent as effective as creative a custom message, and a hell of a lot faster. Of course, we here at VIDA have been saying that since 2010, but it’s always nice to have an irrefutable data source on our side…
If you want better results in less time, copy/paste is hands-down the way to go. Let’s push the odds of meeting someone back in your favor.
Look At The Big Picture
Imagine you spend 20 minutes on your icebreaker message. You read her profile, Googled that author she mentioned four times, and managed to tactfully point out your similarities without sounding desperate.
You may get a response, you may not – and there's a lot of reasons for a lack of responses. Maybe she was out of town. Maybe she’s seeing where things go with a guy who got there first. Maybe she’s had a crazy week at work. (Maybe she's just not that into you). But the reason is irrelevant.
The point is, that's 20 minutes of your life you'll never get back. And here’s the really sobering statistic: If you want to be 99% certain of getting just one response – just one! – be prepared to send out 114 messages.
That’s one of the reasons OkCupid users exchange about 4 million messages – a day. That's roughly 166,666 messages being sent every hour – one of which was yours. And that’s just one site.
Think of all the Tinder, Bumble, Match.com etc… messages flying around out there. Your message has a lot of competition – especially when you’re messaging the most attractive local women.
No wonder online dating can quickly turn into the most frustrating part-time job you’ll ever have!
Let's assume the initial hurdles standing between you and meeting your ideal partner have been cleared – you've chosen a dating site, written an engaging profile, and selected the perfect profile picture.
You’re ready to skip all that frustration and wasted time, and start using cut & paste messages that will get you real results fast.
7 Copy & Paste Messages Examples That Really Work
To be an effective icebreaker, your cut & paste dating message needs to be thought-provoking, fun, and playful. When she reads it, you’ll be instantly elevated from the crowd of losers who fall back on “hey, baby what's up” and “hi.”
Take this example you could send to any of your Tinder matches:
The gif grabs her attention, and the humor keeps it. Making her smile is always a good plan, because a good sense of humor is an attractive trait.
Here is another funny icebreaker you could try on a dating site Match.com or POF:
If you’re on a dating app and notice she’s got photos of her dog, the odds are forever in your favor that she’ll enjoy talking about Sir Charles Barkley. Pets are a great way to get your foot in the proverbial door, so send a message like this:
Anytime you can find a way to establish common ground, jump on the opportunity. Studies have shown that people are more comfortable around those who remind them of themselves, and if she’s more likely to respond if she feels a bond with you right off the bat.
Connecting over the shared experience of using dating sites is one way to do it. You could also create a message built around cooking, swimming, dancing, reading – whatever subjects you have in common with your target woman.
Some dating sites like Match.com allow you to do keyword searches, so you can filter specifically for women who enjoy a particular hobby.
So if you enjoy hitting the slopes and want to share the experience with your next girlfriend, select “skiing” and send a message like this:
Or you could skip that step and opt for something more universal, like a passion for travel. Most women enjoy going on a trip, or at least daydreaming about it. A message like this appeals to just about anyone:
Messages revolving around food are typically crowd pleasers. Hinge discovered women were 40% more responsive to messages that sparked a craving, so use that to your advantage on any dating app:
Or dating site:
You can use these 7 cut & paste icebreaker examples, or use them for inspiration and come up with some good ones on your own. Test them out and keep the winners.
It's really that easy.
Invest fifteen minutes coming up with a list of questions, then sit back and reap the rewards. Sure, you might not get a response to every message you send, but in that 20 minutes it used to take you to crank out one message, now you've sent out 20. (Even more if you turn off Game Of Thrones and start focusing).
Here's a few Dos and Don'ts to keep in mind when writing icebreaker messages:
- Use humor and creativity.
- Keep it relatively short (this is the age of Tweets, after all).
- Use good grammar, spelling, etc…you only get one first impression.
- Ask her a question to which she can easily respond.
- Compliment her physical appearance. She gets it all the time.
- Overuse exclamation points, “netspeak”, and emoticons. OMG, it's totes annoying!!! 😉
- Don't be random, this isn't fifth grade. Your message should make sense within the context of her profile.
- Mention taking things offline in your icebreaker message.
And remember, you're not in this alone. You wouldn't try to repair your A/C unit if it stopped working, right? So if you're not getting the results you want from online dating, call in the experts.
VIDA's team of online dating professionals will identify high-quality matches online and send them messages for you. We'll even schedule your dates – all you have to do is show up. Sign up right now for your free confidential consultation to discover how VIDA can help you find your dream girl!