As a guy, you don’t have to worry about starting the Bumble conversation. If your Bumble profile is up to snuff, she’ll make the first move and send a message your way.
Your job is keeping that conversation going until you lock in a date – or at least snag her number so you can move things off the app.
These Bumble conversation tips for guys will help you get that first message, and turn the conversation into a date!
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#1: Ask Her A Question In Your Bio
Starting a conversation on Bumble can be just as hard for women as it is for you on an app like Tinder. But there’s a simple way to make it easy for her to reach out – just ask her a question in your bio!
End your Bumble profile with a conversation starter like this:
Now, if she wants, she can just send a message answering your question. This instantly takes the stress of figuring out what to say first off her shoulders.
The topic of your conversation starter should be fun to think about, and what you ask should be easy to answer.
These examples make great conversation starters in a Bumble bio:
Want more profile ideas? Check out these examples of successful Bumble profiles!
#2: Take Control Of The Message Exchange
When that first message rolls in, you’ve got to grab the reins and run with it. How to respond will of course depend on what’s in her message, but generally you’ll want to acknowledge what she wrote, then ask her a question.
Asking a question each time you message her is key, as that makes it easier for her to respond to you. If she’s in a rush and has to put a lot of thought into her next message, she might just skip it.
But even more importantly, it shows you want to hear what she has to say.
Many women are turned off by men who do the bare minimum when it comes to online dating conversations, to the point where she will abandon the conversation to engage with someone who actively shows an interest in learning more about her.
Just like the challenge question in your bio, you should always ask entertaining questions that have fairly specific answers, so she can dash off a reply – no heavy time investment required.
Ask an open-ended question whenever possible, because her answers will give you more to work with than a simple yes/no reply would.
Some topics of conversation are almost universally attractive to women, like travel, food, and pets (if she has any). Skim through her photos, bio and Move Makers to find clues as to what she might be excited to talk about, and frame your questions accordingly.
That will also help make it seem like you're genuinely not just pulling random questions out of the air for the sake of making small talk.
For instance, if she’s got an outdoor “action” shot in her photo lineup, she’ll probably connect with a question like this:
Or if she’s posing in front of the Eiffel Tower, a travel-related question like this makes for great Bumble conversation topic:
If alcohol makes a frequent appearance, go with something like this:
Here are some questions you could ask just about any woman on Bumble:
When she’s having fun messaging you, you’re forging an emotional connection – and that’s vital if she’s going to say “yes” to a first date, or share her phone number with a total stranger.
|Bumble Conversation Hack: Mirror Her Writing Style|
Women feel more comfortable with people who are similar to themselves, so if you can get your messages on her wavelength, she’s more likely to agree to meet you in person.
Here are some simple ways to do it on any apps you use:
#3 Recognize When The Iron Is Hot
She’s more than likely exchanging messages with multiple guys at a time, so you want to move the conversation off the app and into real life before another guy captures her interest.
When you’re starting to see signs she’s attracted to you, it’s time to end the Bumble conversation. Here are some clues that she’s ready for the next step:
Ask her out by saying something like this:
If you’d rather get her number, you could ask for it this way:
Once you’ve got her digits, check out this article on how to text a girl.
#4. “Extend” The Match If You’re Interested
Women have to send the first message within 24 hours of matching, or the connection expires.
Guys can “extend” one Bumble match per day, which adds another 24 hours to the count down clock. She’ll know you’re still interested, and that could prompt her to reach out.
If you want to extend more than one match a day, you’ll need to upgrade to Bumble Boost.
#5: Check The App Frequently
Bumble isn’t a “send it and forget it” type of dating app. That pesky countdown clock runs until you’ve both sent a message. If you don’t respond to her first message within 24 hours, the connection will expire.
Expired connections will eventually pop up in your queue again, so you’ll have another chance to match with her. But if you live in densely populated area, that could take awhile, and you're rolling the dice that she'll swipe right again.
Better not to blow the opportunity the first time around, and check the app a few times a day. The app rewards frequent users by showing their profiles to more potential matches, and you can get even more exposure by taking advantage of the Spotlight feature at strategic times.
#6 Avoid These Common Dating App Mistakes
You’ve just read 5 great Bumble tips that tell you what you should do – now here are 5 common mistakes you should avoid making on Bumble (and every other dating app):
- Getting lazy with your grammar. Misspelled words, typos, and poor grammar are huge turnoffs, and not just if you’re messaging an English teacher. The majority of singles think great conversations are essential for good chemistry, and they’re rather put up with bad sex than bad grammar.
- Using a cheesy, too-familiar nickname. Few women appreciate being called “baby,” “sweetie,” “sugar,” etc. by a total stranger, so why risk turning her off? Use her real name instead.
- Having a one-sided conversation. Every message you send should move the convo forward, which is why asking a question each time is so important. Even a simple “How about you?” shows you want to learn more about her, and that’s an attractive quality in a man.
- Being overly complimentary, especially about how she looks. Dating apps are already inherently shallow, since profile pictures generally hold the most sway as you're swiping. So don't come across as even more shallow by immediately pointing out that she's hot, or that you like her hair/body/eyes/smile/insert physical feature. That can be a huge turn off, especially when she's probably not on Bumble looking for one-night stands. She wants you to be interested in more than just what she looks like. A thoughtful response to opening lines coupled with an equally thoughtful follow-up question will go a lot further than a compliment.
- Messaging something sexual out of the blue. Just like the prior Bumble mistake, dropping a heavy innuendo or using any combination of the eggplant, peach and water spray emoji will likely not have the intended effect on apps like Bumble. If she goes down that road first, that's one thing. But unless you're 100% positive she's down with the dirty talk, just don't go there.
Chances are you’re committing at least one of these dating app sins, so the good news is once you stop doing it you should start seeing better results. You can also use the information in this handy Bumble guide to improve your profile, photos, messages and overall Bumble strategy.
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