AWML Reviews [Best Asian Matchmaker For You?]

Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love (AWML) is a Palo Alto-based matchmaking service founded by Cassindy Chao Bierhaus in 2013. Top-tier packages cost up to $15,000 for 6-12 months with a minimum of 6 introductions guaranteed. Only men are accepted as paying clients; women join the database for free. Bierhaus works with just 8 clients at a time, often maintaining a waitlist.

Key Insights

• Cost: Top-tier packages cost up to $15,000; packages structured for 6 or 12 months with at least 6 introductions guaranteed in a 6-month period; 3-month membership hold available
• Highly selective: Bierhaus works with only ~8 clients at a time; there's often a waitlist; not everyone gets accepted
• Men-only paying clients: Only men purchase matchmaking packages; women can join the database as potential matches for free
• Thorough vetting: Interviews cover professional/personal background, parents' relationship, lifestyle, and exes; Bierhaus may also interview clients' friends and family members
• Founder background: Cassindy Chao Bierhaus left Wall Street banking to pursue matchmaking in 2013; Wellesley College graduate in economics and Chinese studies; also co-founded Boutique Matchmaking with Shannon Lundgren in 2023
• Match sources: Internal database plus personal/community networks; collaborates with Kelleher International

With over 14 years of hands-on industry experience, our team of experts knows what clients prioritize most when hiring a matchmaking service. We have reviewed 200+ matchmakers, from the smallest boutique firms to the largest international agencies.

Cassindy Chao Bierhaus discovered her enthusiasm for matchmaking during her time at Wellesley College, where she began matching her fellow students with prom dates. 

But after graduating from Wellesley College with a degree in economics and Chinese studies, Bierhaus found herself in the banking industry.

Her career path led her from Wall Street to Hong Kong and then back to Silicon Valley. While in California she revisited her initial passion for matchmaking, using it as a refreshing break from her day-to-day responsibilities.

She eventually made the decision to change careers and fully dedicate herself to her matchmaking in 2013. She established Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love, (AWML) headquartered in Palo Alto, California.

Then, 10 years later, she also teamed up with fellow matchmaker Shannon Lundgren from Shannon's Circle to co-establish Boutique Matchmaking. As a duo, they specialize in matchmaking, coaching, and consulting for "multigenerational families of wealth."

Bierhaus has been in the matchmaking industry for years, continually sharing her insights and advice on dating not only with her clients but also in various interviews. 

Recently, she broadened her reach by authoring "Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love: Chinese Wisdom for Dating Success."

When it comes to first dates, she reminds singles that the other person agreed to meet for a reason. As she puts it, 

“Have the confidence that if that person is on a coffee date with you or a lunch date with you - they are curious about you. Don’t go out of your way to try and impress them….. And you know…. Just be confident and don’t get ‘friend-zoned.’"

In addition, Bierhaus strongly advises against making assumptions about your date. As she advises, "Be open and always listen."

Once the initial stages of dating evolve into a more substantial relationship, Bierhaus believes the foundation of a promising relationship boils down to a few key ingredients. 

In her own words, 

“A great relationship is based on chemistry and respect. Being accepted authentically is critical.”

The matchmaking journey at AWML begins with prospective clients completing an online application. Following this initial step, a member from the client services team will get in touch to schedule an initial consultation. 

This conversation focuses on your dating history and future relationship goals.

If you're a good fit for AWML, you'll sign a contract and schedule a one-on-one interview with Bierhaus. 

This interview thoroughly examines your professional and personal background, covering things like your parents’ relationship, your lifestyle, and even your exes. 

In addition, Bierhaus often interviews your friends and family members, so she can have a comprehensive view of your strengths and any areas where you may need improvement.

As she shared in an interview with Piedmont Exedra,

“I’ve learned that everybody is an inner prince or princess. We all just have to be bold to shine and own it. But sometimes that takes time. Some go on that journey and some choose not to. We can’t force it, we can only encourage it."

Bierhaus provides support throughout the process, offering additional relationship coaching and image consulting services. She has also been known to send clients on mock dates with members of the AWML rolodex for a real-life evaluation of their dating skills.

Due to her hands-on approach, this Silicon Valley matchmaker prefers to limit the number of clients she works with simultaneously, handling no more than around 8 at a time. 

There is often a waiting list to become a client, and not everyone gets accepted. As she explained, her “business is not based on an algorithm - everyone gets a personal experience.”

Ancient Wisdom, Modern Love only takes on men as paying clients. Women can sign up as potential matches and are included in the singles database. 

Her male clients are matched with women in the database, or with candidates who have been sourced from the team’s personal and community networks. 

AWML also collaborates with San Francisco-based matchmaking service Kelleher International.

According to Bierhaus, some of her top-tier clients pay as much as $15,000 for her matchmaking services. Ultimately, the cost depends on factors like match preferences, the scope of your search, and package duration. 

Packages at AWML are typically structured for 6 or 12 months, with a guarantee of at least 6 introductions during a 6-month period. 

You've also got the option to purchase packages offering more introductions, and you can put your membership on hold for up to 3 months.

Wondering how this price stacks up to other matchmakers for Silicon Valley singles? Let’s take a look at a few of the other options you may be checking out!

Matchmaking Price Comparison

Enamour, for instance, is likely on your radar due to its exclusive, invitation-only pool of matches. The team also uses recruiting technology and an extensive network of scouts to identify exceptional candidates from a variety of sources, both online and offline. Enamour’s 6-month matchmaking package starts around $20,000, and they have an array of packages that can be tailored to fit your requirements.

Three Day Rule is another service you may be thinking about. Founded by Talia Goldstein, it’s headquartered in Santa Monica and has a presence in Silicon Valley. Matchmaking packages cost anywhere from $5,900 to over $19,500+.

VIDA Select is another matchmaking service that should definitely make your shortlist. That’s because VIDA’s modern approach leverages the single largest source of eligible singles there is. 

VIDA also offers matchmaking packages on a pay-as-you-go basis, with monthly service starting at $5,750. There is also the "90-Day Match Guarantee" option, which includes at least 5 highly curated matches you personally approve for $5,750. Guaranteed results, or the search continues at no additional cost. 

With an 82% success rate, VIDA clients meet someone special within 3 months of beginning their service.

Intrigued? Why not find out exactly how VIDA will work for you? Just click here to learn more!